United Airlines Says It Went by the Book But Used the Wrong Book
A video of a passenger forcibly ejected from an overbooked United Airlines flight has gone viral and outraged people around the world. United officials say they offered $800 for a volunteer. No one accepted, so they picked someone. United claims this was standard procedure. They were going by the book.
Well, they used the wrong book!
United should have used Flightmares – a timely new book full of jokes, quotes, cartoons, and stories about everything from planes, pilots, peanuts, and passengers to landings, lavatories, and lost luggage. If United had offered Flightmares along with $800, the flight would have been empty. Because nothing is worth more than a good laugh.
And that’s what Flightmares provides, like this: “Why is the mistletoe hanging over the baggage counter?” asked the airline passenger, amid the holiday rush. The clerk replied, “It’s so you can kiss your luggage good-bye.”
Another one: A man went to the airline counter. The ticket agent asked, “Sir, do you have reservations?” He replied, “Reservations? Of course I have reservations, but I’m flying anyway.”
Even yesterday’s unfortunate United incident could appear in a future edition of the book. If comedy is tragedy plus time, then getting forcibly ejected could seem funny someday. Or as Flightmares might advise: Fasten your safety belts. It makes it harder to get dragged off the plane.
Flightmares: Sky-High Humor by Robert D. Reed is 112 pages, soft cover, and retails for $9.95. It’s published by Robert D. Reed Publishers, P.O. Box 1992, Bandon, OR 97411. Phone: (541) 347-9882. Fax: (541) 347-9883. Website: www.rdrpublishers.com. The book is also available from all bookstores and online.