In the process of updating our website, my communications with author Mike Marciniak inspired me today to get back to blogging. He has 157 blog entries and inspires me with his consistency as well as his words. We published his book, Living Your American Dream.
The open arms of the man on the cover speaks to me as well as the words in Mike's book and on his blog. I believe that closing ourselves off from our dreams, our feelings, even our grief, can stifle our happiness.
I contend that I can be happy to be able to (finally) grieve. I was numb for months after one of my best friends died as a result of a gunshot to her head before her husband then killed himself. It was romanticized as a "mutual suicide pact" by the newspaper and police reports, even though there was no real evidence to support such a "Romeo and Juliet" version of what happened. When my friend's brother learned of her death nine months later, it started a process of communications... all of us looking for closure. In the process of waking up to my grief, my other bridesmaid died; and another dear friend is lying on her death bed patiently and gracefully anticipating her last breath. Each moment I spend with her now is totally in the present moment, basking in our feelings of love. But when she makes her transition, will I take the time to grieve? Absolutely. It is healthy to grieve... and then move on.
Yes, I am basically a very happy woman, living a life of gratitude. Am I happy to lose ten friends in our little town of 3000 over the last few years? Of course not. Am I happy to have had them as friends? Most definitely? Am I grateful for all of my family and friends that are still healthy and alive? More so than ever!
Thank you Mike for impacting me to get back to blogging, to move on. I am glad I took time to grieve, and there is more yet to come, but life goes on. The people I have lost would want me to move my consciousness back into optimism and joy and let the love we all shared with each other feed my soul rather than weighing it down.