Scared To Leave, Afraid To Stay: Paths From Family Violence To Safety by Barry Goldstein

How does a woman leave the man who is abusing her?

What is it like for a woman to leave the man who is abusing her? This book presents the stories of ten women as they fought the courts and their abusers to gain safety for themselves and their children. Goldstein demonstrates how courts handle divorce, custody, visitation, support, child abuse, marital property, orders of protection, and crimes when domestic violence erupts. He also discusses the common tactics abusers use to maintain control over their partners.

The average abused wife makes seven attempts to leave her abuser. Each time she learns more about the resources available. By providing information about how to leave someone who is abusing you, this book makes it easier for women to escape. The brave women described in Scared To Leave, Afraid to Stay all faced serious hardships and threats, but they found there can be a better life. None of them ever chose to go back to a life of violence.

    •Scared To Leave, Afraid to Stay shows how ten women left their abusers and what happened to them before, during, and after leaving.

    •Scared To Leave, Afraid to Stay offers practical advice to women facing the difficulties of domestic violence and helps them find the resources necessary to escape.

    •Scared To Leave, Afraid to Stay answers such questions as: Why do women stay with men who abuse them? What happens to the children? Are judges always reasonable, and is there more they can do to end domestic violence? What causes men to abuse their partners? Don't women also abuse men? And most importantly, how can we end domestic violence?

Barry Goldstein has practiced law in New York since 1978. He served on the Board of Directors of My Sisters’ Place, one of the leading domestic violence agencies in the country for fourteen years. He spent four years as Chairperson. As a re-sult, many domestic violence agencies have referred clients to Mr. Goldstein because he is one of the few lawyers with expertise in domestic violence and because of his willingness to take cases on a pro bono or reduced fee basis. Mr. Goldstein has also worked with the Community Change Project of the Volunteer Counseling Service in Rockland County, New York, since January of 1999 teaching domestic violence classes for men who have been convicted of domestic violence crimes.